Tonielle R

When telling this story about my COVID vaccination injury today, I had to ask my mum to help me. This is because my injury has caused my short-term memory to be so catastrophically impacted, and my ability to carry out small tasks is so severely compromised, that I would not have been able to tell the story on my own.
My mum stood by, ready to fill in my memory gaps and to help me find the right words when my brain would not cooperate. She is now my full-time carer and I don’t know what I would do without her.

Before getting the COVID vaccine I was fit and healthy and worked as a vet nurse in a busy practice. I had a lot of responsibility and was frequently called upon to undertake additional administrative tasks, which I did with ease. I had a great social life and many interests including walking my dog and walking on the beach. I also had four beautiful birds that I loved and cared for daily. I have suffered from depression for much of my life, but this was very well managed with regular doses of esketamine, so it did not unduly affect my life or my work.

When the vaccines were rolled out I was very dubious about them as I was concerned about the speed with which they were produced and the contents of the drug. I just had a feeling that it wasn’t right, so I put it off for as long as I could.

My employer did not mandate the vaccine but I was under constant and intense pressure from work colleagues and friends. So eventually, against my own intuition, I got my first vaccine on the 16th of October 2021.

After the first vaccination I had a sore arm and felt tired and lethargic for a week. That was okay.
I then noticed that the veins in my legs were starting to stick out and look very ‘spidery.’ This continued to escalate and the veins started to hurt, as if my legs were badly bruised. More visible veins appeared every day and it was as though my skin was becoming translucent, making these veins stand out even more. After a while, I started experiencing sharp shooting pains up and down my legs. My feet then went numb and shortly afterwards, became very painful. Next, my neck started hurting and by this stage, I was getting extremely worried about what was physically going wrong with me.

A short while later I started getting extreme and severe panic attacks. These were unlike anything I had ever experienced before. During these attacks I would literally have a complete meltdown with high levels of distress that were not easily calmed.

A few weeks after my first vaccination, I was due for my regular dose of esketamine. This medicine is a nasal spray that causes you to be temporarily high when initially administered and has to be given under direct medical supervision. If not properly monitored, esketamine can increase your blood pressure. In the past, I never experienced any issues with this and within half an hour, the nurse would usually let me go home. The next dose I had after having the COVID vaccine, failed to create the usual temporary high that I was accustomed to. This surprised me and I could only think that whatever was in the COVID vaccine caused the esketamine to not work in the same way as it had in the past. It was really weird but I didn’t think too much about it at the time.

While there, I told the nurse about all my newly acquired pains and issues. The nurse’s response was that sometimes long-term mental illness can manifest as physical pain, so she was not alarmed. Later my psychiatrist said the same thing.

At that stage, I had not put everything together and realised that the vaccine had probably caused all my new symptoms. So, I duly lined up for my second vaccination on the 6th of November 2021.

After the second vaccination all my existing symptoms remained and in fact, worsened. But I also developed severe muscle and joint pain all over my body. The worst issue however, was that my head became so foggy that I could barely think, and in the mornings when I woke up, I literally didn’t know what day it was. This inability to think is ongoing and has decimated my life.
The pain in my neck increased terribly and I started hunching over to the point that I have now developed what is known as a dowager’s hump. I also developed arthritis in my hands and feet.

In January 2022, when I went for my usual esketamine dose, suddenly and without warning, I went into a massively extreme panic attack. I was crying hysterically and saying that I needed an ambulance. The nurse was understandably bewildered and also quite worried as my blood pressure spiked alarmingly. Since that attack, I have had several others, each one being completely unexpected and very debilitating. I never ever had panic attacks prior to the COVID vaccines. Now however, they are a regular part of my life.

I saw many doctors and specialists in this period and only one of them ever said that they thought the vaccine was possibly the reason for all my troubles. By this time however, I was personally convinced that the vaccine was the root cause of everything that had happened. My first GP ran ultrasounds on my legs and ordered multiple blood tests. None of these tests revealed anything wrong. A second GP did similar investigations also with no answers offered. Two more GP’s ran X-rays on my hands, feet and hip, and diagnosed arthritis.

In May 2022, I checked into a psychiatric hospital for assessment because my brain fogginess was just so severe that I could barely function anymore. I was no longer able to function in any capacity on my own or without help, and the impacts of this are disastrous. I was given a brain MRI, but again, there were no adverse findings and I left the clinic none the wiser.

In July 2022 I saw a rheumatologist who did a full body scan, chest X-ray, nerve studies and more blood tests, but he also found very little. In the end, he diagnosed me with fibromyalgia.
Initially I was thrilled to have what I thought was a real diagnosis. But as time went on I realised that this diagnosis was only a small part of my problem, and that there was a great deal still unknown.

In September 2022 I got COVID, which felt like the ultimate slap in the face. I had taken the damn vaccines to avoid COVID and was suffering massive side effects, but I still got the virus that I was supposed to be protected against. What the hell!
I coped pretty well with the virus itself, but while I had it my pain levels increased dramatically and my panic attacks increased in both frequency and severity.

Since then, my symptoms have remained the same, with constant pain, incredibly debilitating brain fogginess and acute memory loss.

My periods were also affected. For the entire year of 2022 I only had two periods. Prior to that, my periods were regular and normal.

My memory issues are now so insanely bad, that they are in effect, a serious disability. I can no longer carry out tasks on my own as I forget what to do and what is required to do them. I can’t even remember to take my medications unless my mum reminds me and then checks again to make sure I do so. On many days mum has sent me a text from work to remind me to take my tablets. I reply to her, but then still forget to take them. Mum finds them on the bench when she gets home and I have no memory of her reminder text.
One example of how bad my memory has become was that I forgot I was no longer taking contraception. This resulted in me getting pregnant. Due to my health and obvious inability to care for a child, I was compelled to get an abortion which was emotionally crippling.

Even one of my beloved birds who previously adored me and was my absolute favourite, no longer trusts me since I had the vaccine. I believe that the bird knows I am somehow inherently different, and he no longer responds to me like he used to. My other birds are OK as they did not know me prior to the vaccine. They say that animals know, and they do indeed.
Due to my injury, I can’t even care for my birds the way I used to anymore. My forgetfulness causes me to accidentally neglect them. My mum has to help me with them now.

My gait has also changed and I can no longer run or even walk fast. I was seeing an exercise physiologist for a time but then a family crisis caused me to stop attending and I have not been back. It did seem that he was helping though, so I need to get back to seeing him when I can.

In both 2022 and 2023, I was diagnosed with HPV. I have an appointment with a gynaecologist next month to check this out for me and see if there is anything suspicious going on.
Just another issue for me to worry about.

Additional issues that I have, include what I call “sparkly” vision. I get flashing lights in my eyes which are starting to get worse. I plan to see an optometrist as soon as I can, as my vision is slowly getting worse. I am now acutely sensitive to noise and light, and regularly suffer from debilitating tinnitus which leaves me feeling exhausted when it finally stops for a short while.
I also have terrible insomnia, just to round things out…….

My latest doctor is the best I have had so far, and he has recently scheduled a heart ultrasound to check for myocarditis. This is booked for next week.

Overall, my life has been totally decimated.
I am now on six months leave without pay from my job and I am getting a disability support pension. I applied for NDIS but my application was denied.
As things stand, I doubt very much that I will be able to go back to work as I am pretty much unable to even leave the house at present, and cannot carry out even so much as the most basic task on my own.

I intend to do more research on natural healing options when my brain allows it, as I have come to clearly understand that the conventional medical system is unable to help me.

My message:
We were terrorised. We were isolated. We were gaslit. We were dehumanised. We were wounded. We were killed. Don’t let them get away with it. Mistakes Were NOT Made!

When telling this story about my COVID vaccination injury today, I had to ask my mum to help me. This is because my injury has caused my short-term memory to be so catastrophically impacted, and my ability to carry out small tasks is so severely compromised, that I would not have been able to tell the story on my own.
My mum stood by, ready to fill in my memory gaps and to help me find the right words when my brain would not cooperate. She is now my full-time carer and I don’t know what I would do without her.

Before getting the COVID vaccine I was fit and healthy and worked as a vet nurse in a busy practice. I had a lot of responsibility and was frequently called upon to undertake additional administrative tasks, which I did with ease. I had a great social life and many interests including walking my dog and walking on the beach. I also had four beautiful birds that I loved and cared for daily. I have suffered from depression for much of my life, but this was very well managed with regular doses of esketamine, so it did not unduly affect my life or my work.

When the vaccines were rolled out I was very dubious about them as I was concerned about the speed with which they were produced and the contents of the drug. I just had a feeling that it wasn’t right, so I put it off for as long as I could.

My employer did not mandate the vaccine but I was under constant and intense pressure from work colleagues and friends. So eventually, against my own intuition, I got my first vaccine on the 16th of October 2021.

After the first vaccination I had a sore arm and felt tired and lethargic for a week. That was okay.
I then noticed that the veins in my legs were starting to stick out and look very ‘spidery.’ This continued to escalate and the veins started to hurt, as if my legs were badly bruised. More visible veins appeared every day and it was as though my skin was becoming translucent, making these veins stand out even more. After a while, I started experiencing sharp shooting pains up and down my legs. My feet then went numb and shortly afterwards, became very painful. Next, my neck started hurting and by this stage, I was getting extremely worried about what was physically going wrong with me.

A short while later I started getting extreme and severe panic attacks. These were unlike anything I had ever experienced before. During these attacks I would literally have a complete meltdown with high levels of distress that were not easily calmed.

A few weeks after my first vaccination, I was due for my regular dose of esketamine. This medicine is a nasal spray that causes you to be temporarily high when initially administered and has to be given under direct medical supervision. If not properly monitored, esketamine can increase your blood pressure. In the past, I never experienced any issues with this and within half an hour, the nurse would usually let me go home. The next dose I had after having the COVID vaccine, failed to create the usual temporary high that I was accustomed to. This surprised me and I could only think that whatever was in the COVID vaccine caused the esketamine to not work in the same way as it had in the past. It was really weird but I didn’t think too much about it at the time.

While there, I told the nurse about all my newly acquired pains and issues. The nurse’s response was that sometimes long-term mental illness can manifest as physical pain, so she was not alarmed. Later my psychiatrist said the same thing.

At that stage, I had not put everything together and realised that the vaccine had probably caused all my new symptoms. So, I duly lined up for my second vaccination on the 6th of November 2021.

After the second vaccination all my existing symptoms remained and in fact, worsened. But I also developed severe muscle and joint pain all over my body. The worst issue however, was that my head became so foggy that I could barely think, and in the mornings when I woke up, I literally didn’t know what day it was. This inability to think is ongoing and has decimated my life.
The pain in my neck increased terribly and I started hunching over to the point that I have now developed what is known as a dowager’s hump. I also developed arthritis in my hands and feet.

In January 2022, when I went for my usual esketamine dose, suddenly and without warning, I went into a massively extreme panic attack. I was crying hysterically and saying that I needed an ambulance. The nurse was understandably bewildered and also quite worried as my blood pressure spiked alarmingly. Since that attack, I have had several others, each one being completely unexpected and very debilitating. I never ever had panic attacks prior to the COVID vaccines. Now however, they are a regular part of my life.

I saw many doctors and specialists in this period and only one of them ever said that they thought the vaccine was possibly the reason for all my troubles. By this time however, I was personally convinced that the vaccine was the root cause of everything that had happened. My first GP ran ultrasounds on my legs and ordered multiple blood tests. None of these tests revealed anything wrong. A second GP did similar investigations also with no answers offered. Two more GP’s ran X-rays on my hands, feet and hip, and diagnosed arthritis.

In May 2022, I checked into a psychiatric hospital for assessment because my brain fogginess was just so severe that I could barely function anymore. I was no longer able to function in any capacity on my own or without help, and the impacts of this are disastrous. I was given a brain MRI, but again, there were no adverse findings and I left the clinic none the wiser.

In July 2022 I saw a rheumatologist who did a full body scan, chest X-ray, nerve studies and more blood tests, but he also found very little. In the end, he diagnosed me with fibromyalgia.
Initially I was thrilled to have what I thought was a real diagnosis. But as time went on I realised that this diagnosis was only a small part of my problem, and that there was a great deal still unknown.

In September 2022 I got COVID, which felt like the ultimate slap in the face. I had taken the damn vaccines to avoid COVID and was suffering massive side effects, but I still got the virus that I was supposed to be protected against. What the hell!
I coped pretty well with the virus itself, but while I had it my pain levels increased dramatically and my panic attacks increased in both frequency and severity.

Since then, my symptoms have remained the same, with constant pain, incredibly debilitating brain fogginess and acute memory loss.

My periods were also affected. For the entire year of 2022 I only had two periods. Prior to that, my periods were regular and normal.

My memory issues are now so insanely bad, that they are in effect, a serious disability. I can no longer carry out tasks on my own as I forget what to do and what is required to do them. I can’t even remember to take my medications unless my mum reminds me and then checks again to make sure I do so. On many days mum has sent me a text from work to remind me to take my tablets. I reply to her, but then still forget to take them. Mum finds them on the bench when she gets home and I have no memory of her reminder text.
One example of how bad my memory has become was that I forgot I was no longer taking contraception. This resulted in me getting pregnant. Due to my health and obvious inability to care for a child, I was compelled to get an abortion which was emotionally crippling.

Even one of my beloved birds who previously adored me and was my absolute favourite, no longer trusts me since I had the vaccine. I believe that the bird knows I am somehow inherently different, and he no longer responds to me like he used to. My other birds are OK as they did not know me prior to the vaccine. They say that animals know, and they do indeed.
Due to my injury, I can’t even care for my birds the way I used to anymore. My forgetfulness causes me to accidentally neglect them. My mum has to help me with them now.

My gait has also changed and I can no longer run or even walk fast. I was seeing an exercise physiologist for a time but then a family crisis caused me to stop attending and I have not been back. It did seem that he was helping though, so I need to get back to seeing him when I can.

In both 2022 and 2023, I was diagnosed with HPV. I have an appointment with a gynaecologist next month to check this out for me and see if there is anything suspicious going on.
Just another issue for me to worry about.

Additional issues that I have, include what I call “sparkly” vision. I get flashing lights in my eyes which are starting to get worse. I plan to see an optometrist as soon as I can, as my vision is slowly getting worse. I am now acutely sensitive to noise and light, and regularly suffer from debilitating tinnitus which leaves me feeling exhausted when it finally stops for a short while.
I also have terrible insomnia, just to round things out…….

My latest doctor is the best I have had so far, and he has recently scheduled a heart ultrasound to check for myocarditis. This is booked for next week.

Overall, my life has been totally decimated.
I am now on six months leave without pay from my job and I am getting a disability support pension. I applied for NDIS but my application was denied.
As things stand, I doubt very much that I will be able to go back to work as I am pretty much unable to even leave the house at present, and cannot carry out even so much as the most basic task on my own.

I intend to do more research on natural healing options when my brain allows it, as I have come to clearly understand that the conventional medical system is unable to help me.

My message:
We were terrorised. We were isolated. We were gaslit. We were dehumanised. We were wounded. We were killed. Don’t let them get away with it. Mistakes Were NOT Made!

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